Women's Dictionary

• Yes = No

• No = Yes

• Maybe = No

• I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry

• We need = I want

• It’s your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now

• Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later

• We need to talk = I need to complain

• Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to

• I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron

• This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

• I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper

• I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

• Do you love me? = I was going to ask for something expensive

• How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate

• I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

• You have to learn communication = Just agree with me