Mom Taught Me

MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of that carpet!"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into next week!"

MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC "Because I said so, that's why!"

MOM TAUGHT ME FORESIGHT "Make sure you wear clean under-wear in case you're in an accident."

MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER "It looks like a tornado went through your room!"

MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!"