LAWS OF THE LAND

Law of Mechanical Repair:  After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:  Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:  The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:  If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:  If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:  If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath:  When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:  The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with

Law of the Result:  When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:  The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:  At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:  As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:  If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:  The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:  No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:  Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:  If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:  A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:  As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.