Prison vs. Work -- Just in case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit more clear.....

IN PRISON ... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. AT WORK ... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you are surrounded by scoundrels, cheats, and assholes. AT WORK...no difference.

IN PRISON ... you get three meals a day. AT WORK ... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON ... you get time off for good behavior. AT WORK ... you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...you get to work because they are punishing you. AT WORK...you get to work because if you don't they'll fire you and hire someone younger for less money -- in other words, they'll punish you.

IN PRISON ... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK ... you must carry around a key and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON ... you play games. AT WORK ... you play games by telling your boss how great he or she is, and by holding back your projections to keep your budget as low as possible.

IN PRISON ...you can use any language you want. AT WORK you use a word that is even remotely considered to be inappropriate and you can be written-up then fired.

IN PRISON...you can post all sorts of posters on your wall. AT WORK only pictures of your fully clothed wife, your kids, or a nun are allowed.

IN PRISON ... you get your own toilet. AT WORK ... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat and smells the joint up using the place as a crappin' library.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK...you can't speak to your family and when you finally get home to visit your so "F'n" tired from all the stuff at work you don't want to speak to them.

IN PRISON ... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required. AT WORK ... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON ... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out. AT WORK ... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you don't have to worry about medical plans, insurance, parking fees, commuter taxes, and a 401K. AT WORK...every year you get a new medical plan that costs more and gives you less, you park in a more dangerous lot at higher costs, the city jacks you for more taxes, and your 401K goes in the toilet because the CEO is caught using company funds for expensive art purchases and paying rent on an apartment for some 22 year blond bimbo on the Upper West Side.

IN PRISON ... you must deal with sadistic wardens. AT WORK ... they are called managers.

So why is it, again, that we work?